Do You Want to Ride?

You ever have one of those days where you’re all set to ride—boots on, horse tacked, perfect weather—and yet, the second you actually go to swing a leg over, something inside you hesitates? Maybe it’s a tightness in your chest, a sudden lack of motivation, or a little voice in the back of your head going,

“Eh… maybe not today.”

It doesn’t make sense. Nothing bad has happened. Your horse is fine. You’re fine. So why does it feel like something is quietly but firmly putting on the brakes?

I used to brush that feeling off. Chalk it up to being lazy, unmotivated, or just “not in the mood.” But the more I learned about the nervous system, the more I realized—it wasn’t random at all.

Your body is always tracking things outside your awareness, even when your "attention” (or in this case, we can say brain capacity) is dedicated elsewhere. Constantly scanning, adjusting, looking for safety in this crazy world. Sometimes, it makes decisions for you before your thinking brain even gets a vote. That little hesitation? That sudden lack of drive? That’s your nervous system stepping in, whispering, “I don’t know about this.”

And the worst part is……..that it’s sneaky. It doesn’t just show up as fear. Sometimes it looks like procrastination—finding a million little things to do before actually getting in the saddle. Sometimes it’s over-analyzing—picking apart your horse’s every move, your own position, every possible thing that could go wrong. Sometimes it’s tension—a stiffness in your body that makes everything feel just a little off, causes a sporadic headache, or gives us a bit of a gimp.

Way back when, sitting on Buckshot, petting “Bitto”

When I got Buckshot back in 2015 with my Grandfather, we picked him up with another horse named Bitto, a spunky and spry Arabian gelding who was (at the time) very shutdown. When he arrived, I didn’t see she shutdown, I just thought he needed better food and some “schooling sessions” to learn “manners” - but as time went on, I found lots of excuses on why to ride Buckshot and not Bitto. Buckshot let me boss him around, and only occasionally pushed back while going into flight patterns, Bitto had no hesitation pushing back very loudly and physically. I had been bucked off him a few times, but I dusted myself and got back on to prove the point that I could still do it. After stressful training sessions, I would avoid working with him, claiming I was letting him relax and learn how to “reintegrate” with people after his troubled history. However, the true question is, did I do that for him or did I do that for myself?

It can be frustrating because, logically, you know there’s no real reason to have those feelings. In this case, we like to think that logic does or does not run the show…..but what if I told you, sometimes we confuse logic for our emotions? (So to summarize, the emotions, are questions the emotions, which can cause the even more emotions- and sometimes we label that as logic! Pretty confusing, huh?) Even if we don’t know it, our nervous system knows what the baseline feelings are and acknowledges them for what they are. Our perspectives and experiences shape who we are. Your emotions might be pushing you to “just get it done,” but if something feels even a little uncertain today, your nervous system has its own way of tapping the brakes.

I used to fight it. I’d push through, tell myself to quit overthinking, get on anyway. “Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway”, right? And sure, sometimes that worked. I worked with the horse, and the horse complied. But other times, it didn’t work out as well. The tension just built. My horse picked up on it long before I was at the mounting block. Things felt forced, disconnected. Riding wasn’t fun—it was work. And if something did go wrong? My body was already braced for it.

Me and Arwen after some significant rehabilitation - trying to renegotiate our feelings about being ridden.

A lot of my legacy students are familiar with Miss Arwen, a beautiful big solid bay AQHA mare I was rehabbing in hopes of not only being a walk/trot lesson horse, but being the dam to my next show prospect! When I initially got her, she was expressive, but something in her was almost unnerving, for me especially. Sometimes she seemed “calm” and “gentle", and sometimes she would crow-hop while she was tied. As we helped her feel better (supplements, bodywork, dentals, etc.), I tried to just ride her around casually (bareback and in the bosal). I thought I would find ways to make her a just little uncomfortable to desensitize her, then get off, nothing big right? I was told she was ridden, and I saw how tolerant she looked in the for sale videos. Key word here, tolerant. I figured this would be a good first step to just stay casual, minimal strapped to her, less weight, and she could feel my body with hers. Well she had big feelings that escalated within seconds, and then I found myself being thrown into the panels of the round pen I was riding in. The story ends with me in the ER later that evening.

The thing is, this reaction doesn’t always come from something obvious. Sometimes it’s tied to an old memory—something your brain doesn’t even consciously recall, but your body never forgot. Maybe a close call, a bad fall, or even just watching something unsettling happen to someone else. Other times, it has nothing to do with riding at all. Maybe you’re carrying stress from your day, your week, your life outside the barn, and your body is just saying, “Not today.”

Tourniquet when I went to go look at him

Ignoring that gut feeling can either help or hurt you. Forcing yourself forward without understanding why you feel off isn’t confidence—it’s overriding your own instincts. And usually, it catches up with you when you least expect it.

Instead, try slowing down and getting curious. Before you ride, take a second—notice your body. Are your shoulders tight? Holding your breath? Feeling tension in your gut? Maybe everything’s fine. But maybe—just maybe—your system is trying to tell you something.

If you’re curious about deep diving on where these “get it done” feelings may be coming from, check out this link, which goes over some roots of where “pulling up our bootstraps” has been applicable- and when to contemplate if it’s coming from a place of harm.

I’ve ignored those feelings before and paid the price. Looking back, I should’ve noticed the horse’s tension, how I was holding my breath, or the way they danced away from me. There have been times I dismounted, loosened the cinch, walked a lap, or scaled back the session. And you know what? The next day, my horse remembered—not just the lesson, but the moment of slowing down.

Your nervous system isn’t your enemy. It’s not working against you—it’s working for you. The question isn’t how to get rid of that hesitation. The question is: What happens when you stop fighting it and start working with it?

Have you ever felt that weird, unexplainable hesitation? Like something was just keeping you from riding, even when you wanted to? Want more insights about how you can incorporate work with the Nervous System with your training?

I’d love to hear—drop a comment or shoot me a message. Let’s talk about it!